Choosing Thoughts Like you Choose Your Clothes

According to my mother, I’m a clothes horse—a person who pays great attention to their appearance and wardrobe. They are usually stylish and well-dressed, I have a lot of clothes because I love unique items and bold colors. I pick up things from second-hand stores and creative designers, and I’m a bit of a hoarder, rarely throwing anything away. I still have a one-of-a-kind jacket I bought in Paris in 1987 that I hardly wear but can’t part with.

People often comment that I’m well put together, partly because I developed a habit of choosing my clothes the night before. This is especially useful on rushed mornings, as it’s one less thing to worry about.

Elizabeth Gilbert says, “You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate.”

Choosing your thoughts like you choose your clothes sounds simple but is challenging. I started choosing my clothes the night before through trial and error, motivated by not wanting to make noise while my husband slept. Initially, I’d forget items and have to rummage through drawers, disrupting my routine. Over time, it became a habit: I’d check the weather and my schedule before bed, then pick out appropriate clothing and accessories.

I’m now applying this awareness to my thoughts. Just as I prepare for an easier morning, I observe my complaints and negative feelings, looking for ways to soften or turn them around.

The first step is awareness. By being the Sakshi, the unattached observer, I can notice what triggers negative thoughts. Identifying patterns allows me to anticipate these feelings and prepare affirmations or breathing techniques to redirect into a positive state.

Yoga philosophy supports this process. Dhyana (meditation) focuses and calms the mind. Svadhyaya (self-study) promotes introspection to transform misaligned thoughts. Sankalpa (setting intentions) guides thoughts and actions with positive intentions.

Here’s the recipe for choosing your thoughts:

• Observe your thoughts through meditation or journaling.
• Identify negative thoughts that don’t serve you.
• Replace unwanted thoughts with positive ones using affirmations.
• Practice gratitude to focus on positive aspects of your life.
• Stay present by focusing on the moment rather than the past or future.

I’m using these tools to overcome the stress of caring for my mother-in-law with dementia. Often angry and stubborn in the morning, my usual reaction was to match her emotions, which didn’t help. Now, like preparing my clothes the night before, I mentally prepare myself to deal with her. Before getting out of bed, I cultivate compassion, meditate, and send her goodwill. Understanding her discomfort helps guide my interactions, leading to smoother mornings.

Remember, you have the power to select your thoughts just like your clothes every day. Cultivate this power, and it can transform your life.

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