Change is Hard
One of my yoga students said a great thing to me, that they trusted the lessons I offered because they knew it was authentic.
Authenticity is a buzz word these days. Everyone is looking for it. Everyone wants to be it. I’m grateful that she recognized that what I talk about in yoga class are things I’ve sat with and practiced.
All season long I’ve been coaching people about change and transition in the fall and letting go of what is no longer needed to make room for growth.
Boy, have I been living every bit of this.
First, with the arrival of my mother-in-law (MIL) in my home as she is becoming increasingly confused with dementia. I had been trying to prepare for this in the last year, but I don’t think it was possible. Even now after three months every day is different. Through my yoga and Buddhist practices I continue to open my heart and elevate my life condition to be ready for everything.
“What do you mean by elevating your life condition?” another student asked me recently. I mean being present and self aware. Strong, standing in who I am as a kind and compassionate human being. Not allowing my self to be swayed by the external circumstances around me. Being confident with conviction in what I believe and desire.
Yeah, easier said than done.
The arrival of my MIL has presented a huge mirror for me to examine myself. Sure, I’ll say I’m a kind and compassionate person but when met with unprovoked anger and resistance and disruption to the comfortable home I’ve created, can I still be that person? Yes, with sincere effort, I can.
When you have no control over anything you must surrender. When your anger and frustration is triggered by someone who has no idea of what their doing, all you can do is surrender. Do you beat or berate a two year old for the things they do? As my husband said, child and elder abuse is wrong, but we now have insight into how it can happen.
So, I’ve been letting go. Letting go of control. Letting go of spaces. Letting go of comfort. Letting go of expectations. Anyone who has practiced with me knows what I believe to be the key to happiness. NO EXPECTATIONS! Just let go.
When I was met with frustration at one of my jobs I leaned into surrender. Why suffer? I let it go. After 16 years I quit teaching at 24 Hour Fitness. It was not a decision made lightly. I have made many friendships and felt a deep sense of appreciation from those who danced and practice yoga with me.
Self care is another buzz word these days. This truly was an act of taking care of me. I worked very hard to teach the very best classes, but was only rewarded with apathy and frustration and reduction in pay for my efforts. It was time to go.
I’m now creating time and space for workshops, retreats and look for re-starting a popular Denver activity known as Friday Night Yoga Club!
For the month of December I will rest and reflect and get ready to bust into the new year with love, confidence and enthusiasm. I am excited to see what I will manifest in the next year.
With love and gratitude, I thank you for being here, reading this blog and hope you will stay connected and join me in a class soon.
Namaste and Ashé!